What to Include in an Obituary: The Complete Checklist
Every element of a good obituary — the facts you need, the personal details that matter, and a printable checklist to keep you on track.
An obituary has two jobs: tell people who died and what happens next (the service details), and capture something true about who this person was. The first part is facts. The second part is love. You need both.
This guide breaks down every element of an obituary — organized into what you must include, what you should include, and what's optional. At the end, there's a printable checklist you can work through as you write.
If you want a step-by-step writing tutorial, see our complete guide to writing an obituary. If you want to see what finished obituaries look like, browse our 15 obituary examples.
The Essential Facts (Must-Have)
These are the non-negotiable elements. Every obituary needs them, regardless of length, format, or where you're publishing.
- Full legal name — Include middle name or initial. If they went by a different name, include it: "Margaret 'Peggy' Elizabeth O'Brien." If the deceased was a married woman, include maiden name: "née Johnson" or "born Johnson."
- Age at death
- Date of death — Full date: "February 14, 2026." Don't just say "Saturday" — that's useless in a month.
- Place of death — Can be specific ("at Memorial Hospital in Portland") or general ("at home, surrounded by family"). The level of detail is your choice.
- Date of birth — Full date, including year.
- Place of birth — City and state is sufficient.
- Names of survivors — Spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings. Include spouses' names in parentheses: "son, James (Rebecca)."
- Names of predeceased family members — Typically parents, spouse, siblings, or children who died before them.
That's the skeleton. Without these elements, the obituary doesn't do its basic job. With them, you have a functional obituary. But functional isn't the goal — meaningful is.
The Personal Elements (Should-Have)
This is where the obituary goes from "announcement" to "tribute." These elements transform a list of facts into something that captures a life.
Life story highlights
- Education — Where they went to school. Not a full academic résumé — just the highlights. "He graduated from Central High School and earned his engineering degree from State University."
- Career — What they did for work, how long they did it, whether they loved it. If they had a defining career, give it more space. If work was just work, a sentence is fine.
- Military service — Branch, years of service, rank, and any significant deployments or honors. Veterans' families almost always want this included, and rightfully so.
- Marriage — When and where they married. "He married the love of his life, Susan Brennan, on October 3, 1975, in Dayton, Ohio." Even a single sentence about the partnership adds warmth.
Who they were as a person
- Personality traits — Were they funny? Quiet? Stubborn? Generous? Blunt? The traits that people who knew them would immediately recognize.
- Hobbies and passions — What did they do with their free time? Gardening, fishing, woodworking, reading, cooking, sports. Be specific: "an avid fly fisherman" is better than "enjoyed the outdoors."
- One defining detail or story — This is the single most important element after the facts. One concrete, specific detail that could only belong to this person. The way they answered the phone. The catchphrase they used. The tradition they started. The thing they were known for. This is what people will remember and what makes the obituary feel real.
- Community involvement — Church, volunteer work, clubs, organizations, coaching. The ways they showed up for other people beyond their family.
- Faith — If faith was important to them, mention it. Their church, their role in the congregation, how their faith shaped their life. If faith wasn't important, don't force it.
The "one defining detail" — why it matters
If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: include one detail so specific that only someone who knew this person could have written it.
Here's why it matters. Compare these two sentences:
Generic: "She enjoyed cooking for her family."
Specific: "She made her famous chicken and dumplings every Sunday without fail, and if you were within a two-mile radius of her house around noon, you were expected to sit down and eat."
The first sentence could describe millions of people. The second sentence describes one person. That's the difference between an obituary people skim and an obituary people read, share, and remember.
Logistics and Service Information
This is the practical information that helps people attend the service and respond appropriately.
- Visitation/viewing — Date, time, location, address.
- Funeral service — Date, time, location, address. Note if it's a religious service (Mass, etc.).
- Burial information — Cemetery name and location, if applicable.
- Memorial/celebration of life — Date, time, location, if applicable.
- Reception details — Where people should go after the service, if applicable.
- Flower instructions — Whether flowers are welcome, or if the family prefers donations.
- Memorial donations — "In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [organization]." Include the full name and a URL or mailing address if possible.
- Condolence instructions — Where to send cards, or a link to an online memorial page.
Optional Elements
These aren't necessary, but they can add depth and meaning depending on the person and the family's preferences.
- Photo — A recent photo is traditional, but some families choose a photo from the person's prime years. Both are appropriate.
- Cause of death — Entirely optional. Some families include it, especially for illness-related deaths where they want to raise awareness. Others use phrases like "after a long illness" or "passed away suddenly." Both are fine.
- A quote or scripture — A favorite verse, poem, song lyric, or personal saying that meant something to the deceased.
- Special thanks — Acknowledgment of caregivers, hospice workers, medical staff, or others who supported the family during the illness or dying process.
- Pallbearer names — Some families list pallbearers and honorary pallbearers in the obituary. This is more common in Southern and rural traditions.
- A personal message from the family — "The family would like to thank..." or a brief note about the person's final days.
- Nicknames and titles — "Known to his grandchildren as 'Pop-Pop'" or "Coach Thompson to generations of young athletes."
What to Leave Out
There are a few things you should not include in an obituary:
- The deceased's home address — This is a security risk. Burglars have been known to target homes during published funerals. City and state are sufficient.
- Financial details — Don't mention inheritance, assets, or debts.
- Family conflicts — The obituary isn't the place to settle scores or make statements about estranged family members.
- Information that could embarrass survivors — Use good judgment. If you're not sure whether to include something, ask another family member.
- Overly generic phrases — "She was loved by all" or "He never met a stranger" are so common they don't mean anything. Replace them with specific details that actually show who the person was.
The Complete Printable Checklist
Here's everything in one list. Print this out, work through it, and you'll have all the information you need to write a complete obituary.
Essential Facts
- Full legal name (including middle name)
- Nickname or name they went by
- Maiden name (if applicable)
- Age at death
- Date of death
- Place of death
- Date of birth
- Place of birth
- Surviving spouse/partner
- Surviving children (and their spouses)
- Surviving grandchildren
- Surviving siblings
- Other important survivors
- Predeceased family members
Personal Details
- Education (schools, degrees)
- Career (jobs, achievements, years)
- Military service (branch, rank, years, honors)
- Marriage (date, spouse, how they met)
- Personality traits (2–3 defining qualities)
- Hobbies and passions
- One specific story or detail
- Community involvement (church, volunteer work, clubs)
- Faith and religious life (if applicable)
Service Information
- Visitation: date, time, location
- Funeral service: date, time, location
- Burial: cemetery name and location
- Reception: location and time
- Flower preferences
- Memorial donation information (organization, URL/address)
- Condolence instructions (online page, mailing address)
Optional
- Photo selected
- Cause of death (if including)
- Favorite quote, scripture, or saying
- Special thanks (caregivers, medical staff)
- Pallbearer names
Putting It All Together
Once you've gathered all the information, writing the obituary becomes much easier. Here's a recommended flow:
- Opening sentence: Name, age, date and place of death.
- Early life: Birth, childhood, education.
- Adult life: Career, marriage, military service.
- The personal section: Personality, hobbies, the defining detail.
- Survivors and predeceased.
- Service information and donations.
That structure works for 90% of obituaries. Feel free to rearrange it — there's no official format. The only rule is: include the facts people need, and add the personal details that make it matter.
Need help getting started?
If you have the checklist filled out but can't find the words, try our AI obituary writer. You provide the details, and it generates a personalized first draft you can edit. Many families find it easier to revise a draft than to start from nothing.
You can also use our step-by-step obituary builder, which walks you through each section and formats everything automatically.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the essential elements of an obituary?
Full name (including nicknames and maiden names), age, date and place of death, date and place of birth, surviving family members, predeceased family members, and service/funeral information. Beyond the facts, include at least one personal detail that captures who they were.
Should I include cause of death?
That's entirely up to the family. Some prefer transparency, especially for disease awareness. Others keep it private. Common phrases like "passed away after a long illness" or "died suddenly" provide context without specifics. Both approaches are perfectly appropriate.
Do I need to list all surviving family members?
No. List the people who mattered most — typically spouse, children, grandchildren, and siblings. For large families, it's acceptable to say "and numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren." The obituary is about honoring the deceased, not creating a family directory.
What should I NOT include?
Avoid including the deceased's home address (security risk), financial details, ongoing legal matters, family conflicts, or information that could embarrass surviving family members. Also avoid overly generic phrases that could describe anyone.
How long should an obituary be?
Most obituaries are 200–500 words. Newspaper obituaries tend to be shorter due to per-line pricing. Online obituaries have no length limit. A good target is 300–400 words — long enough to capture a life, short enough to hold attention. If you're paying by the line for a newspaper, keep it tight and publish the full version online for free.
In what order should I list family members?
The traditional order is: spouse, children (oldest to youngest, with their spouses in parentheses), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, and then other relatives. Predeceased members are listed separately. But there's no strict rule — list people in whatever order feels right for your family.
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