How to Write an Obituary for a Child — A Guide for the Impossible Task

We are so sorry you are here. Writing an obituary for a child — whether a baby, a young child, or a teenager — is one of the most painful tasks a family can face. There is no right way to do this. There is only your way, shaped by your love, your memories, and the truth of who your child was.

This guide exists to walk beside you through the process. It will not rush you. It will not tell you what to feel. It will simply offer gentle suggestions, practical structure, and real examples so that when you are ready, you have a starting place.

If you cannot do this alone, that is not a failure. Ask a partner, a grandparent, a friend, a pastor, or a funeral director to help. You can also use our free AI obituary writer to create a first draft that you can then shape into something that feels like your child.

Before You Begin

Give yourself permission to take your time. If the funeral home needs the obituary by a certain date, ask someone to communicate that deadline to you gently — but know that most publications and funeral homes will work with you.

Before you write a single word, consider sitting with these questions:

• What do I want people to know about my child?
• What moment captures who they were?
• What made them laugh, or what made them them?
• Who loved them, and who did they love?
• Is there something I want the world to remember?

You do not need answers to all of these. Even one — one memory, one detail, one truth — is enough to build something meaningful.

What to Include in a Child's Obituary

A child's obituary does not follow the same conventions as an adult's. There is no career to summarize, no decades of accomplishments to list. Instead, a child's obituary is about presence — the light they brought into the world, however briefly.

The Essentials

• Full name — including any nicknames that felt like their real name
• Date of birth and date of death — or, for stillborn babies, the single date they were born
• Place of birth — city and state are sufficient
• Parents' names — and the names of anyone who was a parent to them
• Siblings — including their ages, if you wish
• Grandparents and other family — those who loved them

The Heart of It

• Who they were — their personality, their quirks, the things that made them unique
• What they loved — a favorite toy, a song, a game, a subject in school, a dream
• A moment or story — one specific memory that captures their spirit
• Their impact — how they changed the people around them
• Service details — date, time, location, and any special requests (donations, dress code, etc.)

Optional Elements

• Cause of death (only if you choose to share)
• A favorite quote, song lyric, or scripture
• A request for donations to a related charity or foundation
• An invitation for others to share memories

Writing for Different Ages

The age of your child will naturally shape the obituary. A newborn's obituary will be different from a teenager's — not because one life matters more than another, but because the memories and details available are different.

For Infants and Babies (Including Stillbirth and SIDS)

When a baby dies — whether before birth, during birth, or in the early weeks and months — parents often struggle with the fear that there is "nothing to write." This is not true. Your baby existed. They were wanted. They were loved. That is more than enough for an obituary.

Focus on: their name, who waited for them, what their arrival meant, the love that surrounded them, and the family they belong to. If they had a brief life, you might mention how they were held, who was there, and what that time meant.

For Young Children (Ages 1–10)

Young children leave behind a wealth of personality. They have favorite things, funny sayings, beloved stuffed animals, best friends, and emerging passions. Lean into these details. They are what make your child's obituary theirs and no one else's.

You might mention their school, their teacher, their favorite game, the way they laughed, or the thing they always said at bedtime. These small details are not small at all — they are the texture of a life.

For Teenagers (Ages 11–18)

Teenagers are becoming who they will be. They have interests, friendships, opinions, dreams, humor, and complexity. A teenager's obituary can reflect this emerging identity — their music taste, their sport, their cause, their friend group, their plans for the future.

Teens often have strong voices. If your teenager wrote anything — texts, social media posts, school essays, journal entries — consider weaving their own words into the obituary. There is something powerful about letting a young person speak for themselves, even in death.

Example: Obituary for an Infant

Example: Obituary for a Young Child

Example: Obituary for a Teenager

Addressing the Cause of Death

Whether to include the cause of death is one of the most personal decisions you will make. There is no right answer. Here are some considerations:

When Families Choose to Share

Many families who have lost a child to illness — cancer, genetic conditions, congenital heart defects — choose to name the condition. This can raise awareness, help other families feel less alone, and honor the child's fight. Families affected by SIDS sometimes share to reduce stigma and support research.

Some families who have lost a child to suicide choose to name it directly, often as part of a commitment to mental health awareness. Organizations like the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offer guidance on language that is honest without being harmful.

When Families Choose Privacy

You are under no obligation to share the cause of death. Phrases like "died unexpectedly," "passed away peacefully," or simply stating the date of death without elaboration are all appropriate. Your child's obituary belongs to you, and you may share as much or as little as feels right.

Language to Consider

• For illness: "after a courageous battle with [condition]" or "following a [length] illness"
• For accidents: "from injuries sustained in an accident" or "died unexpectedly"
• For stillbirth: "was born sleeping" or "was born still" or simply the birth and death date
• For SIDS: "died unexpectedly in his/her sleep" or "of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome"
• For suicide: "died by suicide" (avoid "committed suicide" — the language matters)
• For choosing not to specify: "passed away on [date]" — no further explanation is needed

Obituary Checklist for a Child

Use this checklist to make sure you have covered the elements you want to include. Not every item is necessary — choose what feels right for your family.

• ☐ Child's full name and any nicknames
• ☐ Date of birth and date of death
• ☐ Place of birth or city of residence
• ☐ Parents' names
• ☐ Siblings' names and ages
• ☐ Grandparents and other significant family
• ☐ A description of who they were — personality, quirks, spirit
• ☐ Things they loved — toys, activities, subjects, people, pets
• ☐ A specific memory or story
• ☐ Cause of death (optional)
• ☐ Service or memorial details
• ☐ Donation or memorial fund information
• ☐ A closing thought, quote, or message to the child

Common Mistakes to Avoid

These are not rules — they are gentle suggestions from families who have been through this before.

1. Don't Feel Pressured to Be Brief

Newspaper obituaries once had strict word limits. Today, most obituaries are published online, where length is not an issue. If you want to write five paragraphs about your child's love of dinosaurs, write five paragraphs. This is your space.

2. Don't Use Language That Doesn't Feel Like You

If your family doesn't use phrases like "called home to the Lord" or "gained their angel wings," you don't have to. If you do use those phrases and they bring comfort, use them wholeheartedly. The obituary should sound like your family, not like a template.

3. Don't Forget Siblings

Siblings — even very young ones — are grieving too. Being named in the obituary acknowledges their relationship and their loss. It matters more than you might think.

4. Don't Rush

If you need an extra day, ask for it. Most funeral homes and newspapers will accommodate you. A few extra hours can make the difference between an obituary you regret and one that brings you comfort for years.

5. Don't Compare

Your child's obituary does not need to look like anyone else's. Whether your child lived for twenty minutes or seventeen years, their life was complete and worthy of being honored in whatever way you choose.

6. Don't Exclude the Hard Parts (If You Want Them Included)

If your child spent months in the hospital and you want to honor that fight, say so. If your child's death was sudden and violent and you want to acknowledge that shock, you can. Obituaries do not have to be sanitized. They can be honest.

Frequently Asked Questions