How to Write an Obituary for a Grandparent
A guide for grandchildren and families honoring a life that shaped generations — with examples you can use today.
Losing a grandparent is, for many of us, the first time death becomes real. The first empty chair at Thanksgiving. The first phone number you'll never call again. And now someone in the family needs to write the obituary — and maybe that someone is you.
If you're a grandchild who's been asked to write (or who volunteered, because you're the one who's good with words), this guide is for you. If you're an adult child writing about your parent, there's plenty here for you too. The goal is the same: capture a long, full life in a way that would make them proud.
A grandparent's obituary carries a particular weight. These are people who lived through decades of history. Who raised your parents. Who shaped family traditions you didn't even realize had an origin story. Writing their obituary means distilling 70, 80, 90+ years into a few hundred words — and doing it while you're grieving.
You're up to this. Let me show you how.
Why Writing a Grandparent's Obituary Is Different
Grandparents have longer lives to summarize, which means more decisions about what to include. A 92-year-old grandmother may have had three careers, raised five children, buried a husband, survived a war, and accumulated a lifetime of stories that could fill a book. You can't include all of it.
The trick is focus. You're not writing a comprehensive biography. You're writing a portrait — a few brushstrokes that help someone who reads it think, "I wish I'd known this person."
There's also the challenge of perspective. You knew your grandparent as a grandparent — the person who spoiled you, told you stories, slipped you $20 when your parents weren't looking. But they had a whole life before you existed. Talking to your parents, their siblings, and their friends helps you see the fuller picture.
When grandchildren write it
More and more families are asking grandchildren to write the obituary. There are good reasons for this. Adult children are often deep in logistics — funeral planning, legal paperwork, fielding calls. A grandchild can step back and focus purely on the writing.
Grandchildren also bring something unique: they often remember the fun. The cookie-baking. The fishing trips. The way Grandpa always pretended to lose at cards. Those details make an obituary come alive.
What to Include in a Grandparent's Obituary
Start with the essentials, then layer in the personal details that make it theirs:
The facts
- Full name (including maiden name and any nicknames)
- Age, date of birth, date of death
- Place of death and circumstances ("peacefully at home," "at St. Mary's Hospital")
- Marriage — when, to whom, how long
- Surviving family members (children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings)
- Predeceased family members
- Service information with full addresses
The life
- Where they grew up and what their childhood was like
- Education and career — not a résumé, just the highlights
- Military service, if applicable
- Church, community organizations, volunteer work
- Hobbies and passions
- The role they played in the family — the matriarch who organized every reunion, the grandfather who taught every grandchild to drive
The personality
- What were they known for? Their laugh? Their stubbornness? Their cooking?
- A specific story or habit that captures who they were
- Something they always said — a catchphrase, a piece of advice, a running joke
The personality section is what separates a forgettable obituary from one people save. Don't skip it.
How to Gather Stories and Details
Before you write a single word, spend 30 minutes gathering. This saves you hours of staring at a blank screen.
Call at least two people outside your household
Your aunt remembers different things than you do. Your grandparent's neighbor of 40 years has stories the family has never heard. A five-minute phone call can give you the one detail that makes the whole obituary click.
Look through photos
Old photo albums aren't just for choosing a funeral photo. They're memory triggers. That picture of Grandma at the 1978 county fair might remind your mom of the year she won the pie contest — and suddenly you have your opening line.
Check for written records
Military discharge papers, old letters, a family Bible with dates, a recipe card in their handwriting. These artifacts contain facts you might not remember and add authenticity to what you write.
Ask these three questions
When talking to people who knew your grandparent, these questions tend to unlock the best material:
- "What's one thing about them that most people didn't know?"
- "What would they be doing on a typical Saturday?"
- "What's something they said all the time?"
The Writing Process, Step by Step
Step 1: Start with the announcement
One or two sentences. Who died, when, where, how old they were. Keep it simple and clear.
"Evelyn Marie Kowalski (née Brennan), 89, of Wheaton, Illinois, passed away peacefully on February 12, 2026, at her daughter's home, surrounded by four generations of family."
Step 2: Cover their early life
Where they were born, where they grew up. For grandparents, this often means a very different world — farm life, the Depression, wartime. Even one sentence about their childhood creates context.
Step 3: Hit the major life chapters
Marriage, career, military service, where they lived. You're painting in broad strokes here. Two or three sentences per decade of adult life is plenty.
Step 4: Write about who they were
This is the heart of the obituary. What did they love? What drove them? What made them laugh? What did the grandchildren look forward to most when visiting?
Generic: "She loved her grandchildren and enjoyed gardening."
Specific: "She kept a garden that was the envy of Maple Street for 40 years, and she taught every grandchild how to plant tomatoes — insisting they talk to the seedlings, because she swore it helped."
Step 5: List the family
For grandparents, this can be a long list. Be thorough. Check every spelling. If the list is very long, consider naming children and grandchildren individually, then summarizing great-grandchildren by number.
Step 6: Add service details and memorial preferences
Full addresses. Full dates and times. If there's a preferred charity for memorial donations, include the name and a website.
Step 7: Read it aloud to someone
Ideally, read it to a family member. They'll catch the missing cousin, the wrong middle name, and the sentence that sounds beautiful on screen but stumbles when spoken. This step matters more than you think.
3 Example Obituaries for Grandparents
These are fictional examples based on real patterns I've seen. Use any structure or phrasing that fits your family's situation.
Example 1: Grandmother — warm and traditional
Evelyn Marie Kowalski (née Brennan), 89, of Wheaton, Illinois, died peacefully on February 12, 2026, at the home of her daughter, with her family by her side.
Evelyn was born on September 18, 1936, in South Chicago, the youngest of four children born to Patrick and Mary Brennan. She grew up in a two-flat on Mackinaw Avenue, where the back porch overlooked the steel mills and the kitchen always smelled like soda bread.
She graduated from Aquinas High School in 1954 and married Walter Kowalski on October 11, 1958, at St. Michael the Archangel Church. They raised three children in Wheaton, where Evelyn became the kind of neighbor who showed up at your door with a casserole before you even knew you needed one.
Evelyn worked as a school secretary at Longfellow Elementary for 22 years, where she knew every child's name, every parent's phone number, and exactly who was faking a stomachache to go home early. After retiring in 1998, she volunteered at the DuPage County Food Pantry and spent her mornings tending a garden that the mailman once called "the best front yard in Wheaton."
She was a woman of deep faith, a lifelong member of St. Daniel the Prophet Church, and the organizer of every family gathering for five decades. Her Thanksgiving table seated 28, and she remembered how every single person liked their pie. She collected cardinals — figurines, ornaments, dish towels — because Walter had told her once that cardinals were visitors from heaven, and she never stopped looking for them after he died.
She is survived by her children, Kathleen (James) Morrissey of Naperville, Robert (Linda) Kowalski of Wheaton, and Patricia Kowalski of Chicago; her seven grandchildren, Brian, Megan, Sean, Laura, Emily, Jake, and Claire; her five great-grandchildren; and her sister, Margaret Brennan O'Donnell of Joliet. She was preceded in death by her husband, Walter, in 2021; her parents; and her brothers, Patrick Jr. and Thomas Brennan.
Visitation Friday, February 14, from 3:00–8:00 p.m. at Williams-Kampp Funeral Home, 430 E. Roosevelt Rd., Wheaton. Funeral Mass Saturday, February 15, at 10:00 a.m. at St. Daniel the Prophet Church, 501 N. Wheaton Ave., Wheaton. Interment at Assumption Cemetery.
In lieu of flowers, memorials to the DuPage County Food Pantry or St. Daniel the Prophet Church.
Example 2: Grandfather — focused on legacy and personality
James "Jim" Edward Whitfield Sr., 94, of Knoxville, Tennessee, died on February 9, 2026, at Fort Sanders Regional Medical Center.
Jim was born on April 2, 1931, in Sevierville, Tennessee, the son of Edward and Bessie (Clayton) Whitfield. He grew up on a small tobacco farm in the shadow of the Smoky Mountains, walking two miles to a one-room schoolhouse until the county built the consolidated school in 1942.
He served in the United States Army during the Korean War, stationed at Camp Humphreys from 1951 to 1953. He rarely spoke about his service but kept his Army jacket in the hall closet until the day he died, and he never once missed a Veterans Day ceremony at the Knoxville National Cemetery.
After the war, Jim used the GI Bill to attend the University of Tennessee, where he earned a degree in agriculture and met Carolyn Sue Patterson at a campus dance in 1956. They married in 1957 and spent 65 years together until Carolyn's death in 2022.
Jim worked for the Tennessee Valley Authority for 33 years, retiring as a regional supervisor in 1993. He was a quiet man who preferred doing to talking — the kind of grandfather who taught you to change a tire by handing you the wrench and standing back with his arms crossed. He built a treehouse for his grandchildren that lasted 30 years, mowed his own lawn until he was 91, and grew tomatoes so good that neighbors would leave empty bags on his porch as a hint.
He was a member of Cedar Springs Baptist Church for 58 years, where he served as a deacon and, according to his grandchildren, could fall asleep during a sermon in a way that looked exactly like praying.
He is survived by his children, James Jr. (Donna) Whitfield of Maryville, Susan (Michael) Hartley of Knoxville, and David Whitfield of Nashville; his nine grandchildren; his twelve great-grandchildren; and his brother, Harold Whitfield of Sevierville. He was preceded in death by his wife, Carolyn; his parents; and his sister, Betty Jean Parton.
A celebration of life will be held Sunday, February 16, at 2:00 p.m. at Cedar Springs Baptist Church, 9132 Westland Dr., Knoxville. Military honors will follow at East Tennessee State Veterans Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the Honor Flight of East Tennessee.
Example 3: Short and sweet — when brevity feels right
Rosa Elena Gutierrez, 86, of San Antonio, Texas, passed away on February 6, 2026, surrounded by her family.
Born on December 24, 1939, in Laredo, Texas, Rosa moved to San Antonio as a young woman and worked for 30 years as a seamstress, first at Joske's department store and later from the sewing room she built in her garage. She could hem a dress in the time it took to drink a cup of coffee, and she made the quinceañera gowns for all eleven of her granddaughters.
She is survived by her four children, Maria Elena (Carlos) Flores, Ricardo (Ana) Gutierrez, Lucia Gutierrez, and Manuel Gutierrez; eleven grandchildren; six great-grandchildren; and her sister, Carmen Ramirez of Laredo. She was preceded in death by her husband, Hector, in 2017, and her son, David, in 2004.
Rosary Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. at Our Lady of Guadalupe Church. Funeral Mass Thursday at 10:00 a.m. at the same church, 1321 El Paso St., San Antonio. Burial at San Fernando Cemetery.
Tips for Getting It Right
Don't try to cover everything
A 90-year life has thousands of moments. You're picking the handful that capture the essence. If you try to include everything, you'll end up with a timeline instead of a portrait. Choose depth over breadth.
Include at least one detail only the family would know
The secret ingredient in the gravy. The way they folded the newspaper. The phrase they said every time someone left the house. These tiny details are what make people reading the obituary smile — or cry — because they recognize the person in them.
Mention the grandchildren
For many grandparents, their grandchildren were the great joy of their later years. If that's true, say it. And say it specifically: not "she loved her grandchildren" but "she never missed a soccer game, and she was the loudest voice in the stands."
Consider their era
A grandparent born in the 1930s lived through the Depression, World War II, the civil rights movement, the moon landing, and the internet. You don't need to write a history lesson, but one sentence acknowledging the world they grew up in adds depth. "Born during the Depression on a farm without electricity" tells you a lot about someone in nine words.
Let humor in (if it fits)
Not every obituary needs to be solemn. If your grandparent was funny, the obituary should reflect that. A line about Grandpa's terrible puns or Grandma's refusal to admit her meatloaf recipe came from the back of a soup can — these are the details that celebrate a real person, not an idealized one.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should grandchildren write their grandparent's obituary?
Absolutely. Grandchildren often bring a unique perspective — they remember the playful side, the storytelling, the traditions. If you feel moved to write it, your voice belongs in this process. Many families have an adult child handle the logistics while a grandchild writes the personal sections.
How do I write about a grandparent I wasn't close to?
Talk to people who were. Call an aunt, an uncle, a longtime neighbor. Ask: "What's one thing about Grandma that most people didn't know?" You'll be surprised what surfaces. You don't need deep personal memories — you need honest details, and those can come from anyone who knew them.
Should I mention a grandparent's illness in the obituary?
That's the family's call. Some families write "after a long battle with Alzheimer's" to raise awareness or explain years of declining health. Others simply say "passed away peacefully." Both are appropriate. Consider what your grandparent would have wanted.
How do I list a large number of grandchildren and great-grandchildren?
If there are more than 8–10, it's common to write "survived by 14 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren" rather than naming each one. If space allows (especially online), listing every name is a beautiful gesture. A middle ground: name the grandchildren, summarize great-grandchildren by number.
Can I include a poem or quote in my grandparent's obituary?
Yes, but make it personal. A quote that actually meant something to your grandparent — a Bible verse on the fridge, a saying they repeated — adds genuine warmth. A generic poem from the internet often feels impersonal. If you include something, make sure it's specifically theirs.
How long should a grandparent's obituary be?
For newspapers, 200–400 words is typical. Online, you have unlimited space. Grandparents who lived long lives have more to cover — 400–600 words lets you honor a full life without overwhelming readers. One vivid memory is worth more than a paragraph of vague praise.
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