How to Write a Military/Veteran Obituary
Honor their service the right way — with proper terminology, meaningful detail, and the respect they earned.
When a veteran dies, the family faces a unique challenge: how do you write an obituary that honors both the person and their service? Military life shaped who they were — sometimes visibly, sometimes in ways they never talked about — and the obituary needs to reflect that without turning into a service record.
Veterans' families tell me the same thing: "I want to get the military part right." They worry about using the wrong rank, misspelling a decoration, or leaving out something that mattered deeply. Those worries are valid — veterans and their fellow service members notice these details.
This guide will help you write a veteran's obituary that's both militarily accurate and personally meaningful. Because your loved one was more than their service — but their service was part of who they were.
Why Veteran Obituaries Are Different
A veteran's obituary has elements that civilian obituaries don't. Branch of service. Rank. Deployments. Decorations. Military funeral honors. These aren't just details — for many veterans, they represent the defining chapter of their lives.
But here's the balance you need to strike: the obituary should honor the service without being consumed by it. A veteran who served four years in the Army and then spent 40 years as a teacher, a parent, and a community member was all of those things. The military section matters, but so does everything that came after.
Some veterans are proud and vocal about their service. Others never mention it. Both deserve to have it acknowledged in their obituary — you just calibrate the depth based on how central it was to their identity.
Military Details to Include
Get these right. Fellow veterans will read this obituary, and they'll notice if you confuse a corporal with a colonel.
Essential military information
- Branch of service — United States Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, Coast Guard, Space Force. Use the full name at least once.
- Rank at discharge or retirement — Use the full title: "Staff Sergeant," not "SSgt." You can include the abbreviation in parentheses if you like.
- Years of service — "He served from 1966 to 1970" or "during a 22-year career."
- Wars or conflicts — World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Iraq, Afghanistan. Use the commonly recognized names.
- Deployments or duty stations — Especially significant ones. "Stationed at Camp Pendleton" or "deployed to Kandahar Province."
- Unit — If known and significant: "with the 101st Airborne Division" or "aboard the USS Missouri."
Decorations and awards
- Valor awards — Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross/Navy Cross/Air Force Cross, Silver Star, Bronze Star with "V" device
- Purple Heart — Always mention if received. It means they were wounded or killed in combat.
- Combat badges — Combat Infantry Badge (CIB), Combat Action Badge (CAB), Combat Action Ribbon
- Other significant awards — Meritorious Service Medal, Army Commendation Medal, etc.
You don't need to list every ribbon on their dress uniform. Focus on the ones that tell a story — the ones that meant they were in harm's way, or that they went above and beyond.
How to Find Service Records
The single most important document is the DD-214 — the Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. It contains everything you need: rank, branch, dates of service, decorations, and type of discharge.
Where to look
- Their personal files — Many veterans keep their DD-214 with important documents. Check filing cabinets, safe deposit boxes, and important papers folders.
- The VA — If you're next of kin, you can request records through eBenefits or by contacting your local VA office.
- National Personnel Records Center — Request through archives.gov/veterans. Note: a 1973 fire destroyed many Army and Air Force records from 1912–1964, so some older records may be incomplete.
- Fellow veterans — Service buddies may remember unit details, deployment locations, and stories that aren't in any document.
If you can't find the DD-214, don't guess at ranks or decorations. Write what you know for certain, and use general language for the rest: "He served honorably in the United States Marine Corps during the Vietnam era."
Writing It, Step by Step
Step 1: Start with the announcement
Include rank if the veteran was known by it in civilian life. Many career military retirees use their rank as a title.
"Colonel (Ret.) William R. Thornton, United States Army, 78, of Colorado Springs, Colorado, died on February 10, 2026, at Memorial Hospital."
For veterans who served briefly and didn't use their rank afterward, you can save the military details for the body of the obituary.
Step 2: Cover early life
Birth, childhood, education before service. This sets the stage for who they were before the military shaped them.
Step 3: Write the military section
This is the section unique to veteran obituaries. Include branch, rank, dates, major deployments, unit (if significant), and notable decorations. Write it clearly and factually — this is where precision matters most.
If the veteran saw combat but rarely spoke about it, you can honor that privacy: "He served two tours in Vietnam. Like many veterans of his generation, he carried those experiences quietly, preferring to focus on the life he built after coming home."
Step 4: Write about life after service
Career, marriage, family, hobbies, community involvement. For career military, this might be shorter. For someone who served four years and then lived another 50, this should be the bulk of the obituary.
Step 5: Capture who they were
The specific details that made them human. Did the military shape their personality — the discipline, the dark humor, the unshakeable loyalty? Write that. Were they in the VFW or American Legion? Did they mentor younger veterans? Did they have a flag routine every morning?
Step 6: Family, service details, and memorial preferences
List survivors and predeceased. Include service information with full addresses. For memorial donations, many veteran families choose veteran-related organizations: Wounded Warrior Project, Fisher House, Honor Flight, local VFW posts.
Step 7: Note military honors
If military honors will be rendered at the service, mention it: "Military honors will be provided by [unit/organization]." If burial is at a national cemetery, include that too.
3 Example Veteran Obituaries
Example 1: Career military — retired officer
Colonel (Ret.) William Robert "Bill" Thornton, United States Army, 78, of Colorado Springs, Colorado, died on February 10, 2026, at UCHealth Memorial Hospital, with his family at his side.
Bill was born on June 5, 1947, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to Robert and Helen (Kowalski) Thornton. He graduated from Central Catholic High School in 1965 and received his commission through ROTC at Penn State University, where he earned a degree in civil engineering in 1969.
He served 28 years in the United States Army, beginning as a second lieutenant in the Corps of Engineers and retiring as a colonel in 1997. His service included two tours in Vietnam (1970–71, 1972), where he earned the Bronze Star with Valor device, the Purple Heart, and the Combat Infantry Badge. He later served at Fort Bragg, the Pentagon, and U.S. Army Europe headquarters in Heidelberg, Germany. Among his many decorations were the Legion of Merit, the Meritorious Service Medal with three oak leaf clusters, and the Vietnam Service Medal with four campaign stars.
After retiring from the Army, Bill settled in Colorado Springs, where he worked as a project manager for a defense contractor and became an avid hiker who had summited 38 of Colorado's fourteeners by age 70. He was a member of the Military Officers Association of America, a volunteer with the Pikes Peak chapter of Honor Flight, and the kind of neighbor who shoveled your driveway before you woke up.
He married Patricia Ann Murphy on August 19, 1972, at Fort Benning, Georgia, and she was his partner through 14 moves, three continents, and 53 years of marriage.
He is survived by his wife, Patricia; his children, Michael (Sarah) Thornton of Arlington, Virginia, and Elizabeth (David) Chen of Denver; his five grandchildren, William, James, Anna, Grace, and Lily; and his sister, Mary Thornton Burke of Pittsburgh. He was preceded in death by his parents and his brother, Thomas Thornton.
A funeral service with full military honors will be held Friday, February 14, at 11:00 a.m. at the Fort Logan National Cemetery, 4400 W. Kenyon Ave., Denver. Visitation Thursday, 4:00–7:00 p.m., at Swan-Law Funeral Directors, Colorado Springs. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to Honor Flight of Southern Colorado or the Wounded Warrior Project.
Example 2: Vietnam-era draftee — service was brief but formative
Thomas "Tommy" Gene Birdsong, 76, of Tupelo, Mississippi, passed away on February 4, 2026, at North Mississippi Medical Center.
Tommy was born on January 15, 1950, in Pontotoc, Mississippi, to Gene and Doris (Whitaker) Birdsong. He graduated from Pontotoc High School in 1968 and was drafted into the United States Army in 1969.
He served as an infantryman with the 25th Infantry Division in Cu Chi, Vietnam, from 1969 to 1970. He earned the Army Commendation Medal, the Vietnam Service Medal, and the Combat Infantry Badge. Like many veterans of his generation, Tommy rarely spoke about his time in Vietnam, though he kept a photo of his squad on his dresser for the rest of his life and never missed a reunion.
After his honorable discharge in 1971, Tommy returned to Mississippi and went to work at the Tupelo Furniture Market, where he spent 34 years in sales and became the kind of salesman people asked for by name. He married Sandra Kay Ledbetter in 1973, and they raised three children on a small piece of land outside Tupelo where Tommy kept a garden, a bird feeder he battled squirrels over for 40 years, and a workshop where he built furniture that his grandchildren will sit on for decades.
He was a lifelong member of Harrisburg Baptist Church and a 47-year member of VFW Post 8904, where he served as post commander from 2004 to 2006.
He is survived by his wife, Sandra; his children, Jason (Amy) Birdsong of Tupelo, Jennifer (Mark) Hankins of Oxford, and Justin Birdsong of Nashville; his six grandchildren; his brother, Larry Birdsong of Pontotoc; and his sister, Brenda Birdsong Mills of Memphis. He was preceded in death by his parents.
Funeral services will be held Saturday, February 8, at 2:00 p.m. at Harrisburg Baptist Church, 1175 S. Eason Blvd., Tupelo. Military honors will be rendered by the Lee County Veterans Honor Guard. Burial at Tupelo Memorial Park. In lieu of flowers, memorials to VFW Post 8904 or St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.
Example 3: Post-9/11 veteran — younger service member
Sergeant First Class Maria Elena Vargas, United States Army (Ret.), 44, of El Paso, Texas, died on January 28, 2026, after a battle with cancer that she faced with the same courage she showed in three combat deployments.
Maria was born on April 12, 1981, in El Paso, to Carlos and Isabel Vargas. She graduated from Bel Air High School in 1999 and enlisted in the United States Army the following month, beginning a 20-year career that took her around the world.
She served as a military police officer, deploying to Iraq in 2003 and 2005 and to Afghanistan in 2010. She earned the Bronze Star, the Purple Heart, the Army Commendation Medal with three oak leaf clusters, and the Combat Action Badge. She rose from private to sergeant first class and spent her final assignment training the next generation of MPs at Fort Bliss.
Maria retired from the Army in 2019 and immediately began volunteering with the El Paso Veterans Coalition, helping other women veterans navigate the VA system — a process she described, with characteristic bluntness, as "harder than anything I did overseas." She was working toward a degree in social work at UTEP at the time of her diagnosis.
She was a devoted mother who coached her daughter's softball team, a loyal friend who could make anyone laugh, and the person her family called first in any crisis — because Maria always had a plan.
She is survived by her daughter, Sofia Vargas; her parents, Carlos and Isabel Vargas of El Paso; her brother, Staff Sergeant (Ret.) Carlos Vargas Jr. of San Antonio; her sister, Ana Vargas-Reyes of Las Cruces; and her partner, David Ochoa of El Paso. She was preceded in death by her grandparents.
A memorial service with military honors will be held Saturday, February 1, at 10:00 a.m. at Fort Bliss National Cemetery. A celebration of life will follow at 1:00 p.m. at the El Paso VFW Post 812, 3500 Paisano Dr. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to the Fisher House Foundation or Women Veterans Interactive.
Military Funeral Honors and Burial
Every eligible veteran is entitled to basic military funeral honors at no cost. Here's what families should know:
Basic honors (all eligible veterans)
- Folding and presentation of the American flag to next of kin
- Playing of Taps (live bugler or recorded)
- Minimum of two uniformed service members
Full honors (varies by rank and availability)
- Firing party (rifle salute)
- Full honor guard (casket team, color guard)
- Live bugler
- Military chaplain
National cemetery burial
- Free to all veterans with honorable or general discharge
- Includes gravesite, headstone/marker, opening/closing, and perpetual care
- Spouses and dependent children may also be eligible
- Schedule through the National Cemetery Scheduling Office: 1-800-535-1117
The funeral home typically coordinates military honors. Let them know early that your loved one was a veteran — they'll handle the request to the appropriate military branch.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I list military rank and branch in an obituary?
Use the full rank title followed by the branch: "Staff Sergeant, United States Marine Corps." If they retired, write "retired as a Master Sergeant" or use "MSgt (Ret.)." The DD-214 has the exact rank at separation.
Should I list all military awards and decorations?
List the most significant ones — Purple Heart, Bronze Star, Combat Infantry Badge. For extensive service records, focus on decorations reflecting combat service, valor, or special achievement. "Among his many decorations were the Bronze Star and the Army Commendation Medal" covers it well.
What military funeral honors are available?
All eligible veterans receive basic honors: flag folding/presentation and Taps, provided at no cost by the DoD. Full honors (gun salute, honor guard, bugler) depend on rank and availability. The funeral home handles arrangements.
Can a veteran be buried at a national cemetery?
Yes. Any veteran with an honorable or general discharge is eligible at no cost — gravesite, headstone, opening/closing, and perpetual care. Spouses and dependent children may also be eligible. Call 1-800-535-1117 to schedule.
Where can I find military service records?
Check personal files first for the DD-214. If you can't find it, request from the National Personnel Records Center at archives.gov/veterans. The DD-214 provides rank, branch, dates, decorations, and discharge status.
How do I mention service if the veteran rarely talked about it?
Honor it simply: "He served in the United States Army during the Vietnam War. Though he rarely spoke about his time overseas, he carried that experience with him quietly for the rest of his life." The DD-214 can fill in factual gaps.
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