How to Write an Obituary for a Young Person
When a life ends before it should, the words feel impossible. This guide will help you find them.
This is not the guide anyone wants to read. If you're here, something unspeakable has happened — a child, a teenager, a young adult in your life has died. And someone needs to write the obituary.
I want to be honest with you: this is the hardest kind of obituary to write. Not because the structure is different — it's not, really — but because everything about it feels wrong. Obituaries are supposed to summarize a life. How do you summarize a life that was just getting started?
Here's how: you write about who they were, not how long they were here. A ten-year-old who loved dinosaurs and made everyone laugh had a life worth remembering. A nineteen-year-old who was just figuring out who they wanted to be had a life worth remembering. Length doesn't determine meaning.
This guide will walk you through the process. We'll talk about what to include, what's different when the person is young, and how to write something that does justice to a life that mattered enormously — no matter how short it was.
Before Anything: What You're Feeling Is Normal
The death of a young person violates the natural order. Parents aren't supposed to bury children. Teenagers aren't supposed to have memorial services. The grief that follows is unlike other grief — it's sharper, more disorienting, and it comes with an anger that doesn't always have a target.
If you're the one writing the obituary, you're probably experiencing some of these:
- Paralysis. You stare at the screen and nothing comes. That's normal.
- Guilt. You feel like whatever you write won't be enough. It won't be. Nothing could be. But it will still be true, and that matters.
- Anger. You're furious that you're even doing this. Let that anger exist. Don't try to write from a place of peace you don't feel.
- An urge to get every detail right. Because this might feel like the last thing you can do for them. Take your time.
All of this is normal. All of it is okay. And none of it will prevent you from writing something beautiful — because beautiful, in this case, just means honest.
How Writing for a Young Person Is Different
When you write an obituary for an 85-year-old, you have decades of career, family, and experiences to draw from. When the person is young, the building blocks are different — but they're no less meaningful.
There's less history, but more intensity
A young person may not have had a career, a marriage, or children — but they had friendships, passions, dreams, and personality. Often, their impact per year is enormous. A 16-year-old who was the heart of their friend group has a story worth telling.
The community is often larger than expected
Schools, sports teams, churches, social media communities — young people touch a lot of lives. The obituary may reach hundreds or thousands of people who are grieving, not just the inner family circle.
The "survived by" section looks different
Instead of listing a spouse and children, you're listing parents, siblings, grandparents. You may want to include best friends, teammates, or mentors — people who were central to the young person's life even if they're not blood relatives.
Dreams matter
One of the cruelest parts of a young person's death is the future that won't happen. It's okay — and often powerful — to mention what they wanted to do. The college they planned to attend. The career they dreamed about. The trip they'd been planning. These aren't hypotheticals; they're part of who the person was.
What to Include
The basics are the same as any obituary, but with some adjustments:
- Full name and any nicknames — Young people often go by shortened names, gaming handles, or nicknames their friends gave them. Include these.
- Date and place of birth and death
- School and grade/year — For students, this is their "career." Name the school, the grade, and any activities they were involved in.
- Activities and passions — Sports, music, art, gaming, theater, robotics, whatever filled their time and lit them up.
- Personality traits — Were they the class clown? The quiet observer? The one who always defended the underdog? Be specific.
- Relationships — Best friends, teammates, siblings, pets. Who did they love?
- Dreams and plans — What were they looking forward to? What did they want to be?
- A specific memory or story — Something that makes someone say, "That is so them."
- Surviving family members
- Service details
- Memorial donations or scholarship funds
Guidance by Age Group
Infants and stillborn babies
For babies, the obituary is often brief — but it should still exist. This child was real, was loved, and deserves to be remembered. Write about how they were anticipated, how the family prepared for them, what they looked like, who they were named after. If they lived for hours or days, write about who held them and what those moments meant.
Young children (ages 1–12)
Focus on their personality and their world. What made them laugh? What was their favorite book, show, game, food? What did they want to be when they grew up? Who was their best friend? Children are vivid — they have strong opinions, absurd habits, and an intensity of feeling that adults often envy. Capture that.
Teenagers (ages 13–19)
Teens are forming their identity, and their obituary should reflect that process. Write about their school, their friend group, their passions. Were they into music? Sports? Activism? Gaming? Art? What were they planning to do after high school? What was their favorite thing about themselves? Ask their friends — they'll know things you don't.
Young adults (ages 20–35)
Young adults are building lives — starting careers, forming serious relationships, developing independence. Their obituary may include early career details, college, travel, and the relationships that were defining this chapter. They're old enough to have made an impact but young enough that the loss feels unbearable.
3 Example Obituaries
These are fictional, but they're modeled on real obituaries for young people. Use them as templates or starting points.
Example 1: A teenager (age 16)
Aiden Michael Torres, 16, of Naperville, Illinois, died on February 4, 2026, surrounded by his family.
Aiden was born on July 22, 2009, and from his very first breath, he was in a hurry. He walked at nine months, talked at a year, and never really stopped moving after that. He was a sophomore at Naperville Central High School, where he played on the junior varsity soccer team, ran cross-country in the fall, and was an active member of the robotics club — though he'd want you to know he was mostly there for the snacks.
Aiden had a laugh that could fill a cafeteria and a stubborn streak that drove his parents crazy and also made them secretly proud. He was the kind of kid who would stay up until 2 a.m. teaching himself to code, then complain that school started too early. He loved Marvel movies, argued passionately about which Spider-Man was the best (Miles Morales, always), and had a running text thread with his friends that averaged 200 messages a day.
He dreamed of studying computer science at the University of Illinois and building video games. He was going to be extraordinary at it. He was already extraordinary at everything that mattered — being a friend, being a brother, being kind when it would have been easier not to be.
Aiden is survived by his parents, Carlos and Jennifer Torres; his sister, Maya (13); his grandparents, Roberto and Elena Torres of Chicago and David and Patricia Muller of Wheaton; his dog, Pixel; and more friends than any one person should reasonably be able to maintain, but Aiden was unreasonable in the best way.
A celebration of life will be held Saturday, February 8, at 2:00 p.m. in the Naperville Central High School auditorium. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Aiden Torres Memorial Scholarship Fund at Naperville Central.
Example 2: A young adult (age 24)
Kelsey Marie Brennan, 24, of Denver, Colorado, died unexpectedly on January 31, 2026.
Kelsey was born on November 8, 2001, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, to Patrick and Diane Brennan. She grew up in Edina, graduated from Edina High School in 2020, and earned a degree in environmental science from Colorado State University in 2024. She had just started her first "real job" — her words — as a field researcher with the Colorado Parks and Wildlife, and she texted her mom a photo of her name badge on day one with the caption "I'm basically a park ranger now."
Kelsey was an avid hiker, a mediocre but enthusiastic cook, and the friend who always remembered your birthday, your dog's birthday, and the anniversary of the worst day of your life so she could check in. She had a collection of over 40 houseplants, each with a name (her favorite was a fiddle-leaf fig called Gerald). She ran two half-marathons, adopted a cat named Beans from a shelter parking lot, and once drove four hours in a snowstorm to surprise her sister for her birthday.
She is survived by her parents, Patrick and Diane Brennan of Edina; her sister, Megan Brennan of Chicago; her grandparents, Thomas and Ruth Brennan of St. Paul; her cat, Beans; and her closest friends — Ava, Jordan, and Sam — who were her chosen family in Colorado.
A memorial service will be held Saturday, February 8, at 11:00 a.m. at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, 4100 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis. A Colorado celebration of life will be announced separately.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the Colorado Parks and Wildlife Foundation or the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
Example 3: A young child (age 7)
Sophia Grace Kim, 7, of Austin, Texas, passed away on February 9, 2026, after a courageous battle with leukemia.
Sophia was born on April 14, 2018, and she arrived with opinions. She was a first-grader at Hill Elementary, where her teacher described her as "the kind of kid who makes you remember why you became a teacher." She loved painting (especially with glitter, especially on surfaces that weren't supposed to have glitter), reading books about animals, and telling everyone she met that she was going to be a veterinarian and a princess, and she did not see why those two things were mutually exclusive.
During her illness, Sophia showed a bravery that humbled every adult around her. She named her IV pole "Steve" and introduced him to visitors. She painted pictures for the nurses. She told her little brother that she was "just sleeping a lot because being brave is tiring."
Sophia is survived by her parents, Daniel and Grace Kim; her brother, Ethan (4); her grandparents, Sung-ho and Minji Kim of Dallas and Robert and Catherine Miller of Houston; and her beloved stuffed elephant, Ellie, who went everywhere with her.
A memorial service will be held Wednesday, February 12, at 10:00 a.m. at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 3003 Northland Dr., Austin. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to Dell Children's Medical Center or St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.
What to Avoid
Don't erase their age
It's tempting to write around the age — to avoid drawing attention to how young they were. But their age is part of their story. A 16-year-old should sound like a 16-year-old. Don't make them sound 40.
Don't write only about the death
Especially if the death was traumatic, there's a risk that the obituary becomes about how they died rather than how they lived. The cause of death can be one sentence. The life should be the rest.
Don't use clichés to fill space
"Gone too soon" is true but empty. "She had a smile that lit up a room" could describe anyone. Push past the clichés to find the specific things that made this person irreplaceable. What did THEY say? What did THEY do? What would THEIR friends say about them?
Don't forget their friends
For young people, friends are often as important as family. Include them. Mention them by name if appropriate. These are people who are grieving deeply, and seeing themselves acknowledged in the obituary can matter more than you might expect.
It's Okay to Ask for Help
Writing an obituary for a young person may be the hardest thing you do this year — maybe ever. And you don't have to do it alone.
Here are some ways to get help:
- Ask their friends to contribute. Reach out to their closest friends and ask: "What's your favorite memory of [Name]? What would you want people to know about them?" You'll get details and stories you might not have known, and it gives the friends a way to participate in honoring the person they loved.
- Ask a teacher, coach, or mentor. These people saw a side of your child or young person that you didn't. Their perspective can add dimension to the obituary.
- Use a tool to get started. Our AI obituary writer can create a first draft based on your answers to a few questions. You'll probably want to edit it — but having a starting point is often the hardest part.
- Let the funeral home help. Most funeral directors have experience writing obituaries for young people. They know what works and what families find comforting.
There's no prize for doing this alone. The best obituary is the one that captures the truth, however you get there.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you write an obituary for someone who was so young?
Focus on who they were, not how long they were here. Write about their personality, their passions, the way they made people feel. A short life is not a small life. Include their favorite things, their friendships, their dreams — even the unfinished ones. The obituary doesn't need to be long. It needs to be true.
Should I include cause of death for a young person?
Only if the family wants to. There's no obligation. For illnesses like cancer, some families share because it raises awareness and explains what the child endured. For accidents, some families include it to help the community understand. For other causes, the family may prefer privacy. All approaches are valid.
What do you write when a child or baby dies?
Write about the impact they had, no matter how brief. For infants, describe the pregnancy, the joy of their arrival, who they looked like, how they were loved. For young children, write about their personality — what made them laugh, what they loved, who they were becoming. Every life, no matter how short, leaves a mark.
How do I handle the "survived by" section when the parents are young?
List parents first, then siblings, grandparents, and other family. You may include close friends, teammates, classmates, or teachers who were important to the young person. There are no rules about who can be listed. Include whoever mattered to them and whoever is grieving them.
Is it okay to mention what the young person wanted to be or do?
Absolutely. Mentioning their dreams — the college they planned to attend, the career they wanted, the places they hoped to visit — honors the future they should have had. It can be painful to write, but it's a powerful way to show the fullness of the loss.
Can I use humor in an obituary for a young person?
Yes, if it reflects who they were. Many young people are funny, irreverent, full of personality. An obituary that captures their humor — their favorite joke, their eye-roll moments, the things they said that made everyone laugh — can be the most honest tribute you can write. Humor doesn't diminish grief. It honors the person.
Need help finding the words?
Our free AI obituary writer can help you create a personalized first draft in minutes. You answer a few questions about your loved one, and it writes a starting point you can shape into something that feels right.
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