What to Include in an Obituary

The essential checklist so you don't forget anything important during the hardest week of your life.

· 10 min read

When you're writing an obituary under pressure — and it's always under pressure — the biggest fear isn't getting the words wrong. It's forgetting something. Leaving out a grandchild's name. Publishing without the burial location. Missing the memorial donation your mother specifically requested.

This checklist exists so that doesn't happen to you. Print it out, work through it section by section, and check things off as you go. It covers everything an obituary might include, from the absolute essentials to the optional-but-nice details that make an obituary feel complete.

Not every item on this list applies to every person. Use what fits, skip what doesn't. For a full guide on how to actually write the obituary, see our complete obituary writing guide. For ready-to-use templates, see our free obituary templates.

The Quick Overview

If you're in a rush and just need the essentials, here's the absolute minimum an obituary should contain:

  • Full name (including maiden name or nickname)
  • Age
  • City and state of residence
  • Date of death
  • Names of immediate survivors (spouse, children)
  • Service details (date, time, location with full address)

That's a valid obituary. Everything below this point makes it richer, more personal, and more meaningful — but the six items above are the non-negotiables.

Section 1: Identity & Dates

This is the factual foundation. Get these right, because they're permanent.

  • Full legal name — First, middle, last. Exactly as it appears on legal documents.
  • Maiden name — For married women who changed their name. Format: "Margaret Ann Sullivan (née Brennan)" or "Margaret Ann (Brennan) Sullivan."
  • Nickname or preferred name — If they went by something other than their legal name. "James Robert 'Jim' Donnelly" or "Margaret 'Peggy' O'Brien."
  • Age at death
  • Date of death — Full date: "February 8, 2026."
  • Place of death — Can be specific ("at Mercy Hospital") or general ("at home, surrounded by family"). The family chooses the level of detail.
  • Date of birth — Full date.
  • Place of birth — City and state at minimum.

A note about cause of death

Including cause of death is optional. There is no rule, no expectation, and no obligation. Some families include it ("after a courageous battle with cancer"), some mention it generally ("after a long illness"), and some don't address it at all. All three approaches are appropriate. Choose what feels right for your family.

Section 2: Life Story

This section gives readers a sense of how the person spent their years. It doesn't need to be exhaustive — hit the major chapters.

  • Where they grew up — City, neighborhood, or region. Even one detail ("on a dairy farm outside of Marshfield") paints a picture.
  • Parents' names — Including the mother's maiden name is traditional.
  • Education — High school, college, trade school, advanced degrees. Name the institutions.
  • Military service — Branch, years served, rank achieved, notable deployments or campaigns, honors or commendations. For veterans, this is often one of the most important sections.
  • Career — Where they worked, how long, what they did. One sentence about what they were known for professionally is worth more than a list of job titles.
  • Marriage — Spouse's name, wedding date, location. If widowed or remarried, note it.
  • Religious or spiritual affiliation — Church, synagogue, mosque, temple membership. Roles held (deacon, choir member, Sunday school teacher).
  • Community involvement — Organizations, volunteer work, clubs, boards. Specific roles and years of involvement.

Section 3: Personality & Passions

This is the section that makes an obituary more than a list of dates. It's where the person comes alive on the page. For many families, this is the hardest part to write — and the most important.

  • Hobbies and interests — Be specific. Not "she loved gardening," but "she grew roses and entered them in the county fair every August."
  • Personality traits — How would you describe them to someone who never met them? Warm? Funny? Stubborn? Generous? Quiet? What made them them?
  • A signature habit or quirk — The thing the family always talks about. The way he nursed his coffee. The junk drawer she could always find things in. The joke he told at every Thanksgiving.
  • A specific story or memory — One concrete moment that captures the essence of who they were. This is the heart of any great obituary.
  • What they valued — Family? Faith? Hard work? Independence? Loyalty? What principle guided their life?
  • What they were known for — In the community, in the family, among friends. "The neighbor who always helped with snow removal." "The uncle who remembered every birthday." "The coworker who brought donuts on Fridays."

If you're struggling with this section, try this exercise: close your eyes and picture them doing something ordinary. What are they wearing? Where are they? What are they doing? Write that scene down. It's probably the truest thing in the obituary.

Section 4: Family

The family section requires precision. A misspelled name or an accidentally omitted grandchild can cause real, lasting hurt. Take your time with this one.

Survived by (living family members)

  • Spouse or partner — Full name. "His wife of 47 years, Patricia."
  • Children — Listed by name, with spouses in parentheses. "His children, Kevin (Amy) Donnelly, Colleen (Dan) Petersen."
  • Grandchildren — By name, or by count if there are many. "His twelve grandchildren" or list them all.
  • Great-grandchildren — By count is common. "Seven great-grandchildren."
  • Siblings — By name, with spouses. "His brother, Bob (Janet) Donnelly."
  • Other survivors — Nieces, nephews, close friends who were like family, pets (yes, pets — families increasingly include them).

Preceded in death by (family members who died before them)

  • Parents
  • Spouse (if applicable)
  • Children (if applicable — always include this)
  • Siblings
  • Grandchildren (if applicable)

Critical: verify the list

Before you finalize, send the complete family list to at least two family members — ideally from different branches of the family — and ask them to confirm it's complete and correctly spelled. This five-minute step prevents pain that can last years. Stepchildren, half-siblings, and former spouses are the most commonly missed.

Section 5: Service Information

People will be copying this information into their phones and GPS. Clarity matters more than style here.

  • Visitation / Viewing / Wake — Date, time range, location name, full street address.
  • Funeral / Memorial service — Date, time, location name, full street address. Type of service (Mass of Christian Burial, celebration of life, etc.).
  • Burial / Interment — Cemetery name and location. Private or public.
  • Reception — If there's a gathering after, include the location.
  • Livestream link — Increasingly common. Include the URL if the service will be streamed.
  • Dress code or special instructions — "Casual attire welcome," "The family requests attendees wear blue," etc.
  • Military honors — Flag folding, rifle salute, taps, military escort. Note if these will be part of the service.

Section 6: Final Details

  • Memorial donations — Organization name, website, and/or mailing address. Be specific enough that people can actually donate without Googling.
  • Flower preferences — "In lieu of flowers, the family requests..." or "Flowers may be sent to [location]."
  • Funeral home or arrangements — Name of the funeral home handling arrangements.
  • Photo — Select a photo for publication. Recent and recognizable is better than young and flattering.
  • Online memorial link — If there's a memorial page (on OfficialObituary.com, for example) where people can leave condolences, include the URL.

Optional Sections

These aren't required, but many families include them and they can add a meaningful finishing touch.

  • A favorite quote or saying — Something the person often said, or a quote that captures their philosophy.
  • A scripture or hymn reference — For families of faith.
  • A family statement — "The family wishes to thank [hospice/hospital/caregivers] for their compassionate care."
  • Special requests — "In his memory, perform a random act of kindness." "Raise a glass of Jameson." "Hug your kids."
  • Pallbearer names — Some families list them; others include this only in the funeral program.

Before You Publish: The Final Check

Before the obituary goes to the newspaper, the funeral home, or the website, run through this quick final check:

  • Read it out loud — start to finish. If you stumble on a sentence, rewrite it.
  • Check every name — spelling, order, and completeness. Every single name.
  • Verify dates — birth date, death date, wedding date, service dates.
  • Confirm service addresses — full street addresses, not just location names.
  • Check service times — a.m. vs. p.m., correct day of the week.
  • Have someone else read it — someone not in the immediate family, if possible, for a fresh perspective.
  • Confirm memorial donation details — correct organization name and how to donate.
  • Review for tone — does it sound like the person? Would they recognize themselves in it?

One family I worked with caught a wrong funeral date during this final check — they'd written Thursday instead of Friday. That single catch prevented hundreds of people from showing up on the wrong day. The final read-through matters.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the essential elements of an obituary?

At minimum: full name, age, date of death, city of residence, names of key survivors, and service details. Everything beyond that — career, hobbies, personality, stories — makes it richer but isn't strictly required.

Do I need to list every family member?

List all immediate family: spouse, children (with spouses), grandchildren, and siblings. For extended family, a general mention ("numerous nieces and nephews") is common. The golden rule: don't accidentally omit someone who expects to be named. When in doubt, include them.

Should I include cause of death?

This is entirely the family's choice. Some mention it to raise awareness, some keep it vague ("after a long illness"), and some don't mention it at all. All approaches are appropriate and common.

How do I handle blended families?

Include stepchildren and step-grandchildren. The usual format is "his stepchildren, [names]" or simply list them alongside biological children without distinction — the family can decide which approach feels right. The important thing is not leaving anyone out.

What order should the information go in?

The most common structure is: announcement (name, death date) → early life → career/service → personality/passions → family list → service details → memorial donations. But there's no rule. Write it in whatever order tells the story best. For templates that show this structure in action, see our obituary templates page.

Can I print this checklist?

Yes — use your browser's print function (Ctrl+P or Cmd+P). The page is formatted for printing with the navigation elements hidden.

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